HomeReligion & PhilosophyMarriages are made in heaven… How far it’s true??

Marriages are made in heaven… How far it’s true??

I think everyone is aware of the fact what exactly marriage is. There may be different definitions of marriage given by different jurist or renowned people or anyone but still I think most of the people don’t know what exactly marriage is?  Usually we describe marriage as an intimate union and equal partnership of a man and a woman; natural institution and a sacred union because it is rooted in the divine plan of creation; some also say it’s a contract which is legally bound between spouses that establishes rights and obligations between them, between them and their children, and between them and their in-laws, or many more. Different culture defines different definitions.

If we go through the history, we will see there were many different and strange perceptions or reasons for creating marriage. Some said to avoid number of sexual partners they created marriage ceremony so that a man and women are bound to have intimate relation only with each other, some said its necessary for reproduction of children’s; in some cultures, marriage is recommended or considered to be compulsory before pursuing any sexual activity or many other reasons.  I do agree that these are the important reasons but still I wonder does marriage is limited to reproduction of children’s? Does marriage is only the solution for avoiding having number of sexual partners? I think people are quiet confused between marriage and intimate relation; love and lust.

Marriage does not guarantee you will be together forever. It takes love, respect, understanding, friendship and faith in your relationship to make it last. People say partners should be loyal to each other for successful marriage. But question is that how you determined the loyalty of people? Different people have different opinion regarding loyalty. Loyalty is not a character it’s a thing which one have to gain and produce from other. People do make mistakes, that doesn’t mean they will always remain disloyal or they can never be trusted again.  It’s not a definite or constant character of a person, it varies. Yes, it’s not easy to trust a person who is ditching you again and again but there are some circumstances in which even the most disloyal person have proved his loyalty. You can’t determine the loyalty of a person unless he didn’t have the opportunity to ditch. But one thing is also a fact that being loyal is sometimes as harder as getting loyalty from others. We always expect loyalty from others but sometimes we face a situation in which maintaining loyalty become challenge for us and I think most of the people faced it and they become disloyal for other person once in their life. Mistakes never determined the character of a person, we should never judge a person with their mistakes and neither marriage gives guarantee that your spouse will remain loyal.

Marriage is a ceremony which unites two different people of different thinking and it’s not about to change the character of your spouse; it’s about to accept both negative and positive character of each other. No one is perfect in the world, so better to accept the imperfection. Success of the marriage will never determined by the perfect couple.

I wonder why today’s generation is not willing to marry soon, even some of them never wanted to get married and settled. Why young generation are running away from marriage. One of the recent surveys says that most of the youngsters doesn’t wants to hold responsibility and liability of marriage before 30. Yes, I would say one should marry when they are ready to hold all responsibility. Some people said that they are not marrying because they love someone else and parents will never going to agree because of inter caste or any other reason. I am not going to compare between love and arrange marriage because it’s not necessary that love marriage will last forever not arrange that will be silliest argument ever. But yes still believing in caste system and same old orthodox thinking about intercaste marriages will not last forever will be the silliest thinking will ever.

Nowadays even women also have the same perceptions regarding marriage as men do. It was always assumes that men never wanted to get married soon as they don’t want to loose their bachelorhood.  Marriage is when a man looses his bachelor’s degree and a woman gets her master degree. But it’s no far true now because even women also don’t want to hold the responsibility of marriage before getting professional settlement. Youngsters also assume that after marriage they won’t be able to enjoy their freedom as they do in their bachelorhood. I would say it depends.

Marriages are may be made in heaven but it’s going to be happen on earth and you have to make it like heaven. Its upto you how you are going to hold your marital life.  A perfect marriage is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other. I don’t know what the divine concepts behind marriages are; but one thing for sure marriage only is not enough to hold the relationship. Even if it is made in heaven you have to prove it on earth.  Love is not about how much you say “I love you” but how much you can prove that is true. I would say better to marry that person who loves you more than you rather than a person whom you love more than him/her. Marriages may have decided on heaven but it’s you who determined whether its going to last forever or not.

Priyanka Sinha
Contract Administrator II & Sustainability Council member of Caterpillar Finance
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